Lesley + JohnMark | September 21, 2018 | Wedding Photography | Madison, WI
It has taken me a while to post this last wedding. Not only because it was the last wedding of my 2018 season, but because it ended up being the last wedding of Adriana T Photography.
It took me six months to post this journal entry and the recap of this beautiful couples love day. (So sorry, Lesley + JohnMark if you were maybe waiting for this.) You two were absolutely incredible to work with. Which made this even harder.
I can, without a doubt, say that I enjoyed photographing and being a part of such a momentous day of every couple I booked. Lesley + JohnMark were the cherry on top. From the first time we met through video chat I remember feeling like I was talking to friends who I hadn’t seen for a while.
They had such a chill vibe which was pretty much my number one requirement for booking a couple 🙂 And finally, once we met in person to photograph their engagement session, I knew they were not only super relaxed but also super kind.
Being a wedding photographer was more than just photographing those big moments, it was about connecting as humans. Nothing was more important to me as a business owner than reflecting myself through everything I did. Human Woman. And as a human woman who strived to be professional, caring, and offer quality work, I knew that I had to give it my 100%.
Lesley + JohnMark were the last couple I photographed at 36 weeks pregnant with Luna, and they were the last wedding to photograph a week after Luna turned one.
Chris and I photographed Lesley + JohnMarks’s wedding with full enjoyment and cheer. We communicated each position. We had each others back. We looked at each other during those special moments, as a reminder of our own wedding day and love. Forever grateful that Chris agreed to second shoot for me.
But alas, as I wrapped up editing their wedding and delivered their images I felt a sense of relief and knew that it was time to turn my focus to the new addition to our family. Our baby girl. I remember when I was finishing details for my 2018 season I realized that being a breastfeeding mom meant I had a pump at these wedding. Each couple I emailed so openly agreed to let me pump during their wedding coverage. Lesley replied with options of rooms I could use. But the mere thought of having my personal life interfere with my business brought upon a HUGE sense of anxiety.
Postpartum anxiety is real. Fear that your child will stop breathing over night. Fear that you’re not feeding them enough. Fear that the part of the house where their nursery is is somehow going to collapse… It also added more anxiety to what I already felt when photographing weddings. Fear of forgetting equipment, fear of missing a big moment, fear of the memory cards erasing and losing everything from their wedding! Everything in that last year was a combination that my mind could not handle.
Which is why I decided to end my wedding photography business… certainly for now…maybe for a couple of years. I told my tax accountant to just “place it on hold for now”…because who really knows what life will bring.
So thank you. Thank you Lesley + JohnMark for being such a dream. Thank you to my 2018 couples for making pumping and shooting a wedding a possibility. Thank you to all of my wonderful couples I had the joy of meeting and working with — for letting me into such a big day of your life. Thank you to all my fellow wedding photographers for being so supportive and encouraging. And a big thank you to Chris — for being beyond supportive from the start and the middle and the end. For letting me go over this decision over and over with you and reassuring me that this is what is best for me and that it is OK.
Thank you <3 Human woman/Adriana/your wedding photographer